Esther in Milton

This is officially my first blog post on "our" blog. Julia has been doing all the writing so far, but today I thought I would share some thoughts myself.

House shopping has been hectic, crazy, and stressful all at the same time. I'm learning a lot about the housing market in Milton, and learning about what terms like " 'fixed' vs. 'variable' " and "amortization" mean. I'm also learning how to trust God, which to be fair, is theoretically easy, but practically more difficult. That's the nature of my broken human self.

We've put in an offer on two houses, and in God's great providence and sovereignty, we haven't got either of them. The first was a house that probably had almost everything we were looking for: 3 bedrooms, 2 ¹/₂ bathrooms, a finished basement. We've been looking for something that has a room that we could use as an office, and which can comfortably host people (larger groups like our house church), and smaller groups/couples who'd like to spend a few nights with us, and which we can live in for the next five years with a couple of kids in tow. But the orientation of the living, dining, and kitchen in this house, left something something to be desired. It was a bit awkward to say the least. Would it have been workable? Perhaps. But when you're thinking of dishing out $310,000 (they were asking for $315,000, but made this their final offer), you definitely have to think twice about everything. We were willing to go upto $307,000, but no further. And even at this point, it definitely felt like a pressure pot, and while the extra $3,000 may not have been a big deal, we decided against it. I, especially, needed to be able to make a good decision without feeling pressured by the circumstances and the other parties involved. Julia, by the way, was the best thing that happened to me that night. She was so supportive and I think I was reminded of how blessed I am to be marrying her in a few short months.

What made this decision particularly more complicated was that Appa (my dad) and I got into a very passionate discussion about our philosophy of finances. Perhaps that was God's way of letting me know not to buy this house. At the end of the day, I will never know. We had a chance to reconcile our differences in a sense the next day, and that was a redeeming moment in this whole episode.

Early this week, we put an offer in on another house. Initially we weren't planning on doing it. Julia wrote all about it here. But after I did some research (talking to neighbours, emailing CN Rail, etc.) we decided that it was worth putting an offer on. This house was smaller than the previous house. It was in the Village Homes style, which meant it was a three storey with no basement. You walked into the ground floor which basically contained just the garage and the foyer. It had 3 bedrooms, and 1 ¹/₂ bathrooms. It was well upgraded with hardwood floors and stainless steel appliances, and the main floor was quite ideal for hosting people. The living, dining, and kitchen were really well organized for our price range. Somehow, in a weird kind of way, we ended up in a bid war, which we lost. The asking price was $305,000 and it sold for $304,000. We were only willing to go up to $300,000, but had offered $298,000.

I also noticed an interesting pattern develop in our relationship after the last offer. I found that I would fret all day about the offer and during the offer, and Julia would be quite relaxed. But after the offer, at least the second time around, Julia was a lot more disappointed than me. And I empathized deeply with her. I think after we lost the house, I was happy just to have at least that episode over with for now. But she had developed an emotional relationship with it. And understandably so. If we were going to buy a house for that much money, I think she's quite entitled to developing a relationship with it! In fact, if she didn't like it, I wouldn't even want to buy it!

But something else has been happening in my heart as well. Last Sunday, I preached on the first two chapters of Esther, and I found that for people living in New Testament times (like us), this Old Testament book is quite useful. Two questions that it addresses are these: What do you do when God seems to be absent? and What do we do when we don't seem to be able to hear from God as clearly as we would like? And I think in cases like this, we need to know our identity and know that God is not absent and know that we, as followers of Jesus, are indeed in God's story, and that He is working behind the scenes of our circumstances. So, if I am to practice what I preach (quite literally), and believe in practice what I claim to believe in theory, then I need to trust that God is working behind the scenes. And just as he worked to make Esther queen so that she could be the "savior" of the Jews in Exile, I trust that God is working behind the scenes in my and Julia's life as well. For one thing, we already have a Savior, Jesus Christ, who's given us the most important thing in life - eternal life and a relationship with God. In one sense, everything else is a bonus. And in Acts 17:26, God tells us that "he determined the times set for [us] and the exact places where [we] should live." How can I not believe that? So God knows where he wants us to live. And I trust he'll reveal that to us in his timing. In the meantime, we'll do what we need to do, and keep trusting Him.

And we're also learning to "seek first his kingdom and his righteousness" (Matthew 6:33). And "not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself." Because "each day has enough trouble of its own" (Matthew 6:34). So, for now, the house hunting/shopping adventure continues.

We'll keep you posted! (pun intended)