Great Expectations

Believe it or not, I'm actually somewhat terrified of my wedding day. Not of actually getting married, or being married, but of how my emotions may toy with me.

Growing up, I looked forward to my birthday for 364 days of the year. Then it came, and went. And it NEVER was what I expected it to be. I'm not even sure exactly if I had specific expectations, but reflecting on it, I believed (and still do somewhat) that it is a day that was ALL MINE, where everyone would obviously notice how great I am, tell me so, buy me lots of gifts, want to spend every minute with me, and drop everything they were doing.

Now take a wedding. It's like a birthday party that I have been planning for many years. How on earth is my poor lil' heart going to take it? I don't know. I can only pray that I enjoy the day as much as people tell me to. "It only happens once" - yes, but there is so much pressure when I'm told to just relax and enjoy it. To me, it's like the dentist telling me to relax as she sticks a 6 inch needle into my mouth.

I know people mean well, and I appreciate that. If only I could clone myself, and then just watch myself enjoy the day, without having to deal with my own emotions.

Though I think if I get a good cry out early on, I should be just fine. At least I hope so!

Less than 4 months.

I cannot actually believe it is less than 4 months until I'll be Mrs. Tarcisius. For one, it's an awesome last name, secondly, I'll be a WIFE! After playing Barbies my whole childhood, including a wedding Midge with a replica of my aunt's wedding dress, it's hard to believe my turn is almost here. I mean, this is the day I've imagined from the time I've heard about weddings and understood what they are.

One question I get asked frequently is - how are wedding plans?? to which I respond - oh they're great! No idea if I'm telling the truth, but as far as I know, things seem to be coming together. Bridesmaid dress shopping is set for the weekend, we have a date to meet the caterer and florist, the registry is ALMOST done, and people have been extremely generous in their wanting to help out. So - I know it'll all come together. It's just all the little things to make the day what it is. I'm just thankful for friends who are good at decorating and willing to help me out!

I think what's the CRAZIEST is the fact that in the next 3.5 months we are going to find a place to call "home" together, I have to purchase a car, end my job well here, start a new one, and adjust to living life with another person (eventually). The wedding day seems rather tame! :)

Today I even got to try MY dress on - I can't believe how quick it came. Before they were samples, but this one's it! Hard to believe. Thankfully 2 of my best friends (who are also Bridesmaids) came along. I just couldn't believe it was actually me wearing the dress as I looked in the mirror.

Oh, and for the record, G is the best valentine who treats me just like a princess, and sacrifices for me, just the way Christ did for us. I'm a blessed girl.

Filmin' the big day...

So, despite differing opinions on whether or not to have your big day captured on film, we realized it'd be better for our children to have more opportunities to make fun of us in the future. So we want a video of our wedding. No doubt our clothes will be out of style, no one "does that" anymore...etc.

That's not the only reason, but also to remember the commitment we made to each other on one of the biggest days of our lives, and to celebrate what God has done in bringing us together.

The only problem is finding the right person who you can trust to capture that moment.
We met with a guy yesterday who does a decent job at a decent price - the only problem - his wife is expecting 2 weeks after June 12th. Hmmm. So he may or may not be able to come himself to our wedding, but could "send someone"...we have yet to figure out what that means exactly.

BUT - we just have to keep trusting God for the details of the day, and not get caught up in everything that needs to be done. It's cool to realize a wedding is a worship service, and how it can all point to Him. It's the living every day with that attitude that's the trick ;)

Bridesmaid Dress FAIL...

I was ideally hoping for a simple "everyone order their own dress, it fits perfectly" situation for the bridesmaid dresses. Sadly, this was not the case.

Unfortunately, the dresses I had my BMs order (right) were both see through and not ideal for all people. and the yellow was not as bright as it is in the picture. SO - I'm now on a hunt for the perfect bridesmaid dress.

On the up-side, this means I get more bonding time with the ladies. I'm really hoping to not have to go through a bridal dress store, as they cost twice the price, and since the wedding is in 4.5 months, chances are they'd tell us they'd need to "rush" the dresses, and charge us an arm and a leg. Highway robbery.

Oh well, another day, another obstacle.
But on the up-side I can't wait to be married. How people wait a year to get married, I'm not sure...kudos to them. :)

I'm most pumped for the dance at the wedding - one song suggestion by my bro was this and now I'm hoping Mr. DJ has it...