Why I love my wife!

It's been a little over 4 months since we got married, and I continue to realize over and over again, day in and day out, what a wonderful woman and wife Julia is. Here are some things she's done and said that have literally built me up:

1. She nurtures well. She has an incredible capacity to love and take care of others, especially me, even when she's feeling exhausted. She's tenacious and doesn't give up.
2. She listens well. She is very good at asking how my day was, listening to everything I have to say, asking relevant questions, and giving pertinent feedback. She helps me process what's going on around me.
3. She complements well. She completes me. Pardon the cliche. But she does. I am more of a man because of her.
4. She compliments well. One of my primary love languages is words of affirmation. And she does a good job of encouraging me and building me up with her words.
5. She cooks well! Yummy... enough said! :)

There's a little glimpse into our world.

Flyin' by the Seat of our Pants. :)

Well time seems to be flying by. I honestly didn't feel the pressure until this last week. This is when everyone wants the itinerary, and their money. It has been a bit crazy trying to do the last minute details as well as move into our house in 2 weeks tomorrow!!! It's insane.

Meanwhile, we've been keeping busy - J in Parry Sound, G in Milton, we'll both be in Mississauga next week until we get our house. Can't wait! Then I'll stay there while G sleeps at his parents. I can't wait to officially tie the knot.

My dad and I have been painting pillars, I even wore my Queen's coveralls to Canadian Tire last night. Only in a small town...
and we spread out christmas lights on our lawn to see if we had enough length. We certainly didn't look too "normal", but I can tell you I'll miss being silly, doing projects like this with my pops.

Proof:

Leaving and cleaving - it's harder than it sounds, but I know it's worth it (intellectually). And I'm thankful for such a godly man in my life who loves me the way Christ loves the church.

So in the midst of busyness, I'm trying to remember to be thankful for all I have and count my blessings every day.
Life is too short not to.

Moving IN while moving OUT.

Just to chronicle the wonders of moving, I thought I'd share a picture I took of those who were moving IN when in the final stages of moving out of my house on the Danforth.




It was rather overwhelming, that, and the amount of mouse poo I found under my bed. Apparently it is bad to breathe in, I wish I did a better clean up job earlier.

Alas, here's to keeping a clean house in the future...at least one void of mice.

5 weeks to the wedding on Saturday, 4 weeks to the house tomorrow! CRAZY!

Oh, and God has totally been providing for us in terms of tables and couches. I'm SO thankful for that, and for providing me a place to stay at the Gervais residence this week in Milton. They have been incredibly hospitable and welcoming, and their son is a blast to play hide-and-seek with! :)

Home Sweet Home

The story of how we came to own 914 Gazley Circle...

We had been looking on MLS for many moons, and disregarded the houses that seemed overpriced. This happened for a certain period, until we were like "let's just look at these houses that have been on the market for a long time - no one is buying them, so maybe they will take our offer?". So we did. And we looked at identical houses back to back. One had upgrades, one did not. We went for the one that did not, hoping we could get a lower price if we used the upgrades of the other house to get a lower price. (They were priced the same).

So, we started low, did 2 other offers, and our last offer they accepted! I don't think either of us believed they would, and neither of us emotionally invested in the house. We knew we needed to hold it with an open hand.

Best feature - an already painted baby's room. :) don't worry, it'll be our guest room for a while.

I'm looking forward to setting up shop! We get the house June 4th. I never thought at the age of 24 I'd have a mortgage, but it's quite exciting! We are hoping to stay there until God calls us elsewhere. The house is His, everything we own, really is His, and so we are thanking God for this place.
It is a gift.

Confessions of a Small Town Girl

I never thought I'd say this...but I'm going to. Here is my confession "I am going to miss the city".
Being a northern girl, growing up the city was always "bad", full of smog, scary unfriendly people, and materialism.
I never wanted to live here.

It wasn't until I decided to make the campus a mission field after University that I saw the benefits of going to a multi-cultural place. If I wanted to share Jesus with the nations, what a better place than Toronto?

It was here that I learned to embrace others, enjoyed random moments on the subway cars, walked with large buildings engulfing me while getting lost, found friends at Grace Toronto and on my staff team, and lived beside a McDonald's.

God taught me to depend on him through rough times like when my car got towed (twice) and I dealt with parking tickets. But even still, Toronto has charm. I enjoyed bike rides on Toronto Island, a Raptors game, concerts, an abundance of coffee shops and independent shops to explore and enjoy.

The best part however, were the people, the students I got to interact with and love. They taught me so much - how to live out the gospel, how to love my neighbour, how to seek God for who He was. For that I am forever grateful. They will be missed.
Mooooving (get it?) to the University of Guelph will be a new adventure, and though I "hate" change, I know God is already there, and that life with Him always requires faith.

And though Guelph isn't a large city, and Milton is a cross between small town and suburbia, I know I will come to love it, and the people there just as I did come to love Toronto, and that God can do big things still.

Some pics from my walk downtown yesterday:

Bustles and Smiles. :)

So, they say the last 2 months before a wedding are the most busy. Looks like my life is going to get a bit insane. I can understand it, as I try and figure out the little details, like what type of teeth whitener to buy, do I even get it...etc.

BUT my dress has been hemmed, and it is fitted to my body, and the bustle is wonderful! Who knew bustles could make ones backside look so good! :) the only potential mishap was me feeling quite nauseated while standing there with my legs locked and nothing in my stomach. I hear vomit and wedding dresses don't go well together. Luckily I got some water and sat down in time to prevent anything from going down.

I can't wait to show G what I look like in that dress. And though it won't be when I walk down the aisle (we are taking pics beforehand)...I still know it will be special.

Speaking of photos, we also just got our engagement shots done with our main photographer. Let's just say we had a lot of fun. He and G had a similar sense of humour throughout the shoot. You can check our photographer out at enlightenedimages.blogspot.com. Best thing-he had Laurell Hubick playing when we got to his studio. Amazing.

Our other photographer is going to be my cousin Stephanie - can't wait! check her out at stephiophotography.com/blog/" she's very creative and fun.

Zee Bachleorette

Well I can't really disclose a ton of information, for obvious reasons, but I did feel very cherished and loved by my wonderful friends.

They overwhelmed me with numerous pairs of flannel pyjamas (at least that's what I tell G) and a lot of kind words and memories. We enjoyed fondue, dress up, and photo shoots as well as some interesting rounds of "Things in a Box".

Above you will see a photo of said photo shoot. The theme was "pastors wife party" so we were in our "modest is hottest" mode the whole time. Much thanks to Jen (the MoH), Emily (a bridesmaid), Liz and Dharshini (also bridesmaids) for all their work, and Michelle for hosting!

Was an afternoon to remember for a mighty long time. :) i love you all.

Knowing God beats Parties. :)

Tis the season of parties!

Gifts (as you may or may not know) is my (J's) love language. So, after we attended a Jack and Jill held by the Village Community Church I felt very loved. A huge thank you to Denise who hosted it! One lady even painted a beautiful big clock that says "Every second is of infinite value" - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe. So true. As I watch my life fly by at extreme speed at the moment, I'm remembering to not cut God out of the picture.

I'm studying "Knowing God" right now as part of a small group and it has been very challenging in this regard.

Even in full time ministry, I have to ask myself - do I KNOW God, or just of God. There is a difference. We are only at the second chapter and I am convicted!

One way to test if you are someone who knows God, do you:

1) have great energy for God

2) have great thoughts of God

3) show great boldness for God

4) have great contentment in God

Am I content in God, even if we can't find a house that easily? Even if the life as I know it is coming to an end and I am saying my goodbyes? Even if I had every good thing on earth given to me, will I still see God as my everything, as my first love, my first priority?

It's a challenge for me, especially when there are other things crowding Him out.

May I never forsake my first love, and may I sing songs in my heart to HIM always.

Esther in Milton

This is officially my first blog post on "our" blog. Julia has been doing all the writing so far, but today I thought I would share some thoughts myself.

House shopping has been hectic, crazy, and stressful all at the same time. I'm learning a lot about the housing market in Milton, and learning about what terms like " 'fixed' vs. 'variable' " and "amortization" mean. I'm also learning how to trust God, which to be fair, is theoretically easy, but practically more difficult. That's the nature of my broken human self.

We've put in an offer on two houses, and in God's great providence and sovereignty, we haven't got either of them. The first was a house that probably had almost everything we were looking for: 3 bedrooms, 2 ¹/₂ bathrooms, a finished basement. We've been looking for something that has a room that we could use as an office, and which can comfortably host people (larger groups like our house church), and smaller groups/couples who'd like to spend a few nights with us, and which we can live in for the next five years with a couple of kids in tow. But the orientation of the living, dining, and kitchen in this house, left something something to be desired. It was a bit awkward to say the least. Would it have been workable? Perhaps. But when you're thinking of dishing out $310,000 (they were asking for $315,000, but made this their final offer), you definitely have to think twice about everything. We were willing to go upto $307,000, but no further. And even at this point, it definitely felt like a pressure pot, and while the extra $3,000 may not have been a big deal, we decided against it. I, especially, needed to be able to make a good decision without feeling pressured by the circumstances and the other parties involved. Julia, by the way, was the best thing that happened to me that night. She was so supportive and I think I was reminded of how blessed I am to be marrying her in a few short months.

What made this decision particularly more complicated was that Appa (my dad) and I got into a very passionate discussion about our philosophy of finances. Perhaps that was God's way of letting me know not to buy this house. At the end of the day, I will never know. We had a chance to reconcile our differences in a sense the next day, and that was a redeeming moment in this whole episode.

Early this week, we put an offer in on another house. Initially we weren't planning on doing it. Julia wrote all about it here. But after I did some research (talking to neighbours, emailing CN Rail, etc.) we decided that it was worth putting an offer on. This house was smaller than the previous house. It was in the Village Homes style, which meant it was a three storey with no basement. You walked into the ground floor which basically contained just the garage and the foyer. It had 3 bedrooms, and 1 ¹/₂ bathrooms. It was well upgraded with hardwood floors and stainless steel appliances, and the main floor was quite ideal for hosting people. The living, dining, and kitchen were really well organized for our price range. Somehow, in a weird kind of way, we ended up in a bid war, which we lost. The asking price was $305,000 and it sold for $304,000. We were only willing to go up to $300,000, but had offered $298,000.

I also noticed an interesting pattern develop in our relationship after the last offer. I found that I would fret all day about the offer and during the offer, and Julia would be quite relaxed. But after the offer, at least the second time around, Julia was a lot more disappointed than me. And I empathized deeply with her. I think after we lost the house, I was happy just to have at least that episode over with for now. But she had developed an emotional relationship with it. And understandably so. If we were going to buy a house for that much money, I think she's quite entitled to developing a relationship with it! In fact, if she didn't like it, I wouldn't even want to buy it!

But something else has been happening in my heart as well. Last Sunday, I preached on the first two chapters of Esther, and I found that for people living in New Testament times (like us), this Old Testament book is quite useful. Two questions that it addresses are these: What do you do when God seems to be absent? and What do we do when we don't seem to be able to hear from God as clearly as we would like? And I think in cases like this, we need to know our identity and know that God is not absent and know that we, as followers of Jesus, are indeed in God's story, and that He is working behind the scenes of our circumstances. So, if I am to practice what I preach (quite literally), and believe in practice what I claim to believe in theory, then I need to trust that God is working behind the scenes. And just as he worked to make Esther queen so that she could be the "savior" of the Jews in Exile, I trust that God is working behind the scenes in my and Julia's life as well. For one thing, we already have a Savior, Jesus Christ, who's given us the most important thing in life - eternal life and a relationship with God. In one sense, everything else is a bonus. And in Acts 17:26, God tells us that "he determined the times set for [us] and the exact places where [we] should live." How can I not believe that? So God knows where he wants us to live. And I trust he'll reveal that to us in his timing. In the meantime, we'll do what we need to do, and keep trusting Him.

And we're also learning to "seek first his kingdom and his righteousness" (Matthew 6:33). And "not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself." Because "each day has enough trouble of its own" (Matthew 6:34). So, for now, the house hunting/shopping adventure continues.

We'll keep you posted! (pun intended)

Sheer Brilliance

I realize that I actually make a lot of decisions based on my emotions. G, however, does not. This is a brilliant design on God's part. Had G been just like me, we'd probably be proud owners of at least one house we don't really want. We saw a beautiful house today, dark hardwood floors, california shutters on every window (I didn't know what those were until today)...perfect living area and big kitchen. It was just stunning. However, like every Achilles has a heel, so may every house.

We were doing some research on where the house was exactly tonight after not entering into the bidding war, and saw that it was about 50m from a railway track. Now, that may not be that bad, OR it could mean bad resale value in the future. Not totally sure. (anyone out there with any experience with this??)

Anywho, the brilliance on my part is listening to my "very wise and more cautious than me when making very large purchases" fiance and trusting him even when my heart says to leap.

I'm learning that my emotions can be deceptive, and that two IS INDEED better than one. Insert cheesy pop song here.

Proverbs 11:2 says "When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom."

I'm SO glad I'm marrying a humble and wise man. Thank you Lord.

House Huntin'

So, we are currently in the presence of looking at houses in Milton, as rent would be the cost of a mortgage. Therefore, wanting to be good stewards of our resources, we took up the adventure of house "shopping". As fun as shopping is...normal shopping isn't this tiring or taxing on the body, nor the investment of such a large sum of money.

However, it has been a bonding experience so far for G and I, especially when we put an offer on a house recently. We went with our gut and walked away, trusting that God is going to give us a house that works with our budget. It was a more expensive house but had everything we wanted. Sadly they didn't come down to our price, but the offering/counter-offering part was indeed exciting. I've moved into the grown-up world...

So the house hunt continues.

Pray with us that we find the right place, and we know that it's the people that make the home. A house no matter what size, if it's not filled with God's love for each other and those that enter, is still just a house.

Jillian Jigs, it looks like your room has been lived in by pigs!

House hunting,

Meeting with caterer and florist and venue,

Trying to plan a honeymoon location and dates,

Figuring out our ideal ceremony/day,

Working full time, staying sane in the fast lane.

Only a few things, really...

I realize I have taken on a few too many things this past little while, and my brain and heart can only handle so much. What is sacrificed in the flurry of activity? Well...I hate to admit it, but my room is a disaster zone, and my poor housemates have to put up with my neglect around the house. I want to blame it on someone, something (like a wedding), but I think the best thing would be to own up and take responsibility for trying to fit too much in in a day.

However, I'm thankful for their graciousness towards me. My theory (I was a psyc major, so I have liberty to theorize about pretty much anything) is that I subconciously recognize that in 3 months I'm going to have to be an active participant in making sure the space I live in is "clean". It's weird, as a kid I always had the clean room, my sister the messy room. My other theory is that I prided myself on having the cleaner room, but now that she isn't around, or maybe because I was so strict with myself when I was younger, I have given up?

I don't really know, I just hope my brain can pull it together to put things away when they should be put away, and that G can help me live with less clutter in my life (though for a pack rat, that's hard to say...). Though I just cleaned up my room, yet again. There is hope!

May God give me the strength to say yes to the best, and no to the good. I think it's also hard knowing in 3 months I won't be living in downtown TO, and I am trying to make the most of it and the relationships I have in the city.

Great Expectations

Believe it or not, I'm actually somewhat terrified of my wedding day. Not of actually getting married, or being married, but of how my emotions may toy with me.

Growing up, I looked forward to my birthday for 364 days of the year. Then it came, and went. And it NEVER was what I expected it to be. I'm not even sure exactly if I had specific expectations, but reflecting on it, I believed (and still do somewhat) that it is a day that was ALL MINE, where everyone would obviously notice how great I am, tell me so, buy me lots of gifts, want to spend every minute with me, and drop everything they were doing.

Now take a wedding. It's like a birthday party that I have been planning for many years. How on earth is my poor lil' heart going to take it? I don't know. I can only pray that I enjoy the day as much as people tell me to. "It only happens once" - yes, but there is so much pressure when I'm told to just relax and enjoy it. To me, it's like the dentist telling me to relax as she sticks a 6 inch needle into my mouth.

I know people mean well, and I appreciate that. If only I could clone myself, and then just watch myself enjoy the day, without having to deal with my own emotions.

Though I think if I get a good cry out early on, I should be just fine. At least I hope so!

Less than 4 months.

I cannot actually believe it is less than 4 months until I'll be Mrs. Tarcisius. For one, it's an awesome last name, secondly, I'll be a WIFE! After playing Barbies my whole childhood, including a wedding Midge with a replica of my aunt's wedding dress, it's hard to believe my turn is almost here. I mean, this is the day I've imagined from the time I've heard about weddings and understood what they are.

One question I get asked frequently is - how are wedding plans?? to which I respond - oh they're great! No idea if I'm telling the truth, but as far as I know, things seem to be coming together. Bridesmaid dress shopping is set for the weekend, we have a date to meet the caterer and florist, the registry is ALMOST done, and people have been extremely generous in their wanting to help out. So - I know it'll all come together. It's just all the little things to make the day what it is. I'm just thankful for friends who are good at decorating and willing to help me out!

I think what's the CRAZIEST is the fact that in the next 3.5 months we are going to find a place to call "home" together, I have to purchase a car, end my job well here, start a new one, and adjust to living life with another person (eventually). The wedding day seems rather tame! :)

Today I even got to try MY dress on - I can't believe how quick it came. Before they were samples, but this one's it! Hard to believe. Thankfully 2 of my best friends (who are also Bridesmaids) came along. I just couldn't believe it was actually me wearing the dress as I looked in the mirror.

Oh, and for the record, G is the best valentine who treats me just like a princess, and sacrifices for me, just the way Christ did for us. I'm a blessed girl.

Filmin' the big day...

So, despite differing opinions on whether or not to have your big day captured on film, we realized it'd be better for our children to have more opportunities to make fun of us in the future. So we want a video of our wedding. No doubt our clothes will be out of style, no one "does that" anymore...etc.

That's not the only reason, but also to remember the commitment we made to each other on one of the biggest days of our lives, and to celebrate what God has done in bringing us together.

The only problem is finding the right person who you can trust to capture that moment.
We met with a guy yesterday who does a decent job at a decent price - the only problem - his wife is expecting 2 weeks after June 12th. Hmmm. So he may or may not be able to come himself to our wedding, but could "send someone"...we have yet to figure out what that means exactly.

BUT - we just have to keep trusting God for the details of the day, and not get caught up in everything that needs to be done. It's cool to realize a wedding is a worship service, and how it can all point to Him. It's the living every day with that attitude that's the trick ;)

Bridesmaid Dress FAIL...

I was ideally hoping for a simple "everyone order their own dress, it fits perfectly" situation for the bridesmaid dresses. Sadly, this was not the case.

Unfortunately, the dresses I had my BMs order (right) were both see through and not ideal for all people. and the yellow was not as bright as it is in the picture. SO - I'm now on a hunt for the perfect bridesmaid dress.

On the up-side, this means I get more bonding time with the ladies. I'm really hoping to not have to go through a bridal dress store, as they cost twice the price, and since the wedding is in 4.5 months, chances are they'd tell us they'd need to "rush" the dresses, and charge us an arm and a leg. Highway robbery.

Oh well, another day, another obstacle.
But on the up-side I can't wait to be married. How people wait a year to get married, I'm not sure...kudos to them. :)

I'm most pumped for the dance at the wedding - one song suggestion by my bro was this and now I'm hoping Mr. DJ has it...

It's like Christmas everyday! (The Registry)

I always looked forward to doing the wedding registry bit...and then it finally arrived. A chance to pick out all the fun things I will get to enjoy for the rest of my life, until they disintegrate of course.
As well, my love language is gifts, and so each gift will mean something very special to me. Even if it is a bathroom mat, as each time I step on that mat, I will remember who gave it to me.

It sounds crazy, but it's true.

We spent about 4 hours scanning, trying to pick colours on the spot, deciding whether to get a duvet cover or a comforter, and defending our positions on whether we go for the cheapest things, or the mid-range items.

The registry isn't just about getting stuff for the sake of having stuff. What I'm looking forward to most I think is using the dishes to eat meals together, as the dinner table to me represents where relationships are made. We selected Denby dishes - instead of a cheap set and a china set - so we can have them forever. They are beautiful! (pictured above).

The registry also represents building a home together. Having somewhat of a long-distance relationship (40 mins apart) where we stay with his parents for the weekend makes me so excited for the time when I can just go to where I call "home", and rest and relax, and enjoy my husband and be completely myself.
So though we both feel like each week we pack and then unpack, it'll make being home that much more enjoyable (I hope!).

le ring.

My beautiful ring...from a wonderful man.

My Grandpa's Wisdom

As I realize I have 5 months to plan a wedding, plan a marriage, and still do my best to reach the campus with the love of Christ, I can become a little bit overwhelmed.

You see, I am a planner to the max (thanks mom), and that means many things run through my head at the same time.

That being said, I'm thankful for the people God has placed in my life to keep it sane, and thankful for the willingness of friends and family to help out where needed. The only problem - I'm trying to figure out where exactly I can use the help.

Before I offer my grandpa's wisdom, I thought I'd share some thoughts:
It has been wonderful to experience another culture through dating (and now engaged to) a Sri Lankan man, who was born in Nigeria and moved to Canada when 13. It is a beautiful mix of so many cultures, and wonderful foods, and customs.

I went Kura Saree shopping with his sister (a red rich saree the groom gives the bride) and that itself was quite the experience! But I loved every minute of it. I think I can really embrace the Sri Lankan-ness that is in me. :)

I'm blogging about prepping for the wedding because my Aunt requested, however, I think it could be a good opportunity to step outside myself and my planning and reflect on all that I am thankful for in Christ.

My grandpa's wisdom when I told him I'm engaged? He gave us a verse "Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ." from 1 Cor 11:1. I am praying that I would imitate Christ these next 5 months, and for the rest of my life, really, as I anticipate the upcoming adventures of where God will take us! I am willing and ready to go where He calls us, as scary as it is.